Today is not a bad day.
I don’t know if my planets are lined up or if my stars are in Leo or even what that means.
Even the kale and fresh fruits I laid out to make a power mush don’t even look like it will work.
Today, when I see the picture of the beaver in a lounge chair with a wife standing over him saying “Not very eager,,,Are we?” I get it.
There are things, important things I should be doing and I can’t seem to get off the mark. I have had my coffee, eaten my toast, flipped here and there, but motivation might as well be project to clean the garage or finally sort through that old mail that fell in the “I will deal with this later” pile rather than the trash.
Today, I need a little magic. Today maybe I need to be reminded that maybe it IS worth it and that progress will beat stagnation.
Maybe I am overwhelmed by everything that surrounds me and maybe there does not seem to be a logical way out. When I chatted with everyone I passed at the store last night, the Evil F. Bunny said that I needed to get out more.
My circles are getting smaller. Stuff is closing in and my motivation to dig out seems like I have been given that 1/4 teaspoon in your cooking drawer that you never seemed to have used to begin the process of digging out.
Someone tell me they have felt this way. Someone tell me that even though the sun is shining, it doesn’t MEAN anything other than the sun is shining.
Someone needs to tell me that this is how we feel now and then and like aches and indigestion and weak movie endings and friendships that just disappear, they all fade away and in the scheme of things, it will get better and not worse.
And then we die and turn to ash but not to worry. Our spirit will float away somewhere.
The bridge ahead looks shaky. I can’t see through to the other side. But lackluster maybe better than no luster and I should just put one foot in front of the other and move ahead. Elyse tried to say she didn’t give up walking to the last mountain on the trail, but Massachusetts just did her in and she didn’t give up. She just found a new path and began a new journey. (I have been to Massachusetts…I think it did her in…)
Today is not a bad day.
But I could do without it and even just going back to bed and sleeping through it doesn’t seem like an answer.
Today, I wish I drank and I wish there was a bar nearby with Artists trying to sand off their caffeine and meth edge with glasses of cheap warm wine or more caffeine.
I’m going to click a little more and maybe I will find something…