Why I can’t like Tommy


Why I can’t like Tommy


I can’t like Tommy. I can’t like Tommy anymore. Somewhere along the way, Tommy changed and now I can’t like Tommy.

Tommy says things that I know are wrong. When I was in school, if Tommy said those things on the schoolyard, I was told to tell the Playground Aide. If Tommy threatened me on the way home from school, I had to tell my Mom.

Tommy says things that in my heart of hearts, I know are wrong. No matter how I try and think and rethink about them, I cannot come around to Tommy’s way of thinking.

I suspect that I admire Tommy to a point for having his opinion. I admire living in a land where Tommy can have his opinion. But it is far from my opinion and my heart of hearts says it is wrong and it will hurt people.

If it was 70 years ago and I was in a train station bar in Germany and I was friends with men talking loudly about Jews and Tommy was a Jew and I did nothing even if Tommy was my friend, I would be wrong. If I was also a Jew and they took Tommy away, I would be wrong. I think I would be considered a hypocrite.

Beaten Jew, live hypocrite, live hypocrite Jew…It is not so stark now but if I feel so differently from Tommy and if I listened to what Tommy said each day, I fear I could be dead as well… Tommy lives in fear and much of what he says comes from that fear and from other people who are in fear. I do not want to be dead but I don’t want to live in fear.

If Tommy wore a white pointed hood and I knew it was Tommy, could I still be his friend?

Today I see a confusing world. There are no clear answers to hard questions. But there are things that I think are wrong. I believe there comes a point in a societal evolution where it is possible to ask questions where there are no good answers.

Is Abortion right? Is is legal, but is it moral and whose choice should it be. Tommy and I feel very different about Abortions. If I stand by Tommy and unwanted babies are born and live unwanted and I say nothing, does that make me a hypocrite?

If people kill with guns, will more guns make us safe? If more people die with more guns, am I standing with Tommy as I watch people die? Does that make me a hypocrite?

I know that in my Country I defend your right to your belief, but if people starve or can not afford medicine and are unable to work and they live under a bridge and I believe strongly that it was Tommy and people like Tommy who believed just like Tommy who put them under that bridge, does that make me a hypocrite?

Tommy can have his belief. He can march up and down and scream to the top of his lungs about what he believes but I don’t think I can be friends with Tommy. Maybe in a weird Social Media sort of way, if Tommy finds himself alone with no friends to scream at for being so wrong, maybe Tommy with think twice and he just might see another view.

Maybe it is selfish and maybe I want to just hang out with other just like me, others that think just like me, but things that Tommy is saying I know are bad and people will die and that is sad.

Maybe life is too short and it is not up to me to change Tommy one iota.

But in the meantime, I can’t like Tommy.


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